February 9

We had a training today with all the Seminary and Institute instructors in the Suva area. We watched a broadcast from the Tabernacle in SLC with Elder Oaks as the speaker. I was delighted that the choir for the meeting was made up of S&I employees and spouses from the Salt Lake Valley. Elder Oaks did a great job, took lots of notes until I realized that I was missing the spirit of the talk.  So I quit the note taking and promptly fell asleep.  Sometimes you just can't win.

One thing I do want to remember is a statement made by Brother Johnson who is CES Administrator.  He said that our willingness to accept changes in the church and in CES hastens the Lords work in these latter days.  We are better servants of God when we are adaptable to change.

Had between 40 and 50 at activity night.  Scott counted 42, but earlier I had counted 48.  The YSAs come and go, so I am sure we had at least 50 including 2 non members, one investigator and two from Nadi. We were so crowded that a group of YSAs took a deck of cards and went out the back door of the institute and played on the roof of the carport which is just a bit higher than the back porch. We need to ask for a cement porch that is decent sized and tables of some variety that will not rust, ruin in the rain, or get stolen. We had activities in every inch of the institute building tonight except the bathrooms.

We stood outside and talked with a handful of YSAs after everyone else had left.  These informal talks are why I love this job so much.  Home after 10:30.

I made a discover tonight.  I can not make these kids see that dating is for fun and not a serious commitment.  SIGH.  One of our YSA woman was so upset on Wednesday (having to have a date) that she sat in a corner with earphones on listening to church music. I talked to her, but she really did not make sense to me.  It is just a date I kept repeating. I learned tonight, however, that it is not just a date in this culture.  What happens is the guys look around and look around until they find a girl that they are really interested in.  They then go to the girl and say something like, "Get ready I am going to ask you out."  Which interpreted means, "I am coming to court you, and this is going to end in marriage." This young adult woman was so upset because after the groups had met on Wednesday night a returned missionary who had already told her he was "going to ask her out" reminded her that her date for class had to be with him.  She was not sure she was ready to make that kind of commitment and yet she was not sure she wasn't. It became apparent tonight that most of the guys who were returned missionaries did not come with a date. Their dates--if they are interested in someone specifically--for class will come, I understand, at the Valentines Dance. If they are not interested in someone specifically they will go to an activity find a friend, tell her they are on a date, and then at the end of the activity ask her to sign their "I had a date" card. She will find her own way home.

How do these strange customs get started you ask.  I learned this week that our Stake President's (who is younger than Scott and I) parents had chosen a girl for him to marry unbeknownst to him. When he went home to tell his father that he had found the right woman to marry, his parent's were shocked, however, his father gave in and went to the girl of his choice's father to arrange for the marriage.  The YSAs we are working with are just over one generation away form arranged marriages.

I also am worried for the older YSA woman in our class.  None of the older men are dating them, only the younger woman.  These older woman's chances are slim to none.  I am going to collect names of older (26-31) active YSA men and give it to the older woman with the instructions to go check these guys out.  Also I will tell them to start visiting other ward's activities looking for prospective spouses.  These girls are going to have to be proactive and a little aggressive if they want to get married.