April 12

On Wednesday night when we arrived at the institute building before class, one of our really active YSAs was sitting on the retaining wall with her sister (comes to some activities) and her male cousin.  We stopped to invite them to class, but they could not as the cousin was going to his traditional Fijian engagement party--a male only thing.  The short version of this tradition is that the male members (uncles, cousins, etc.) of the groom's family go to the bride's home with a (or several) whale's tooth.  The groom offers the whale's tooth to the father of the bride who in turns asks the bride if she is willing to get married.  If she says yes the wedding is on and in this case to take place in the temple the following week.  If the bride says no, her family keeps the whale's tooth but must buy a replacement to be given to the groom.  Kava, the cousin told us, is a big part of the ceremony.  We asked if he was going to drink the kava.  "Yes." was the immediate reply.  We politely asked him why he would drink kava if he was on his way to a temple marriage.  He told us that as the youngest person at the ceremony that he must drink or offend/disrespect all the older men there.  I then asked if his family were members of the church.  "Yes, they are."  "Is the bride's family LDS?" I asked.  "Yes."  "Then," I asked, "Who is bringing the kava, and who expects you to drink it?"  The perspective groom indicated that traditions required the kava ceremony and that everyone was expecting him to drink the kava.  We left it at that.

I, however, was so saddened by this conversation.  Elder Ballard came to Fiji and told the Fijian members that they were breaking the Word of Wisdom if they drank kava.  Elder Wakolo, the Area Authority Seventy, reminds the members that kava is not to be consumed often.  Where is the disconnect?  Two families of LDS members still expect to participate in a kava ceremony and then worthily attend the temple shortly thereafter.

We attended the temple with the young adults last evening, Thursday, and there in the temple sat this same young future groom.

Traditions can certainly be a tool in the hands of the adversary.