March 27

For several weeks I have been thinking about teaching a lesson to the Eternal Marriage class on honoring parents.  We have been watching these young couples work through the murky waters of courtship which have been made even darker and more treacherous by the interference of their parents. One young man is really in love.  It is so obvious, and yet he is leaving this summer to attend school in another country at the insistence of his father.  One young woman's parents are insisting that she finish her education before she even considers marriage.  And this is just the short list!

By Monday of this week, I knew I could not put off the lesson any longer.  I was so worried about it that after I wrote the outline for the lesson, I went to President Seru and asked him what he thought.  After we had discussed what I had planned to say, he said, "Sister Tennis, every young adult in Fiji needs this lesson.  You give it.  It is right."  Even with this endorsement I was worried.

In Fiji parents are absolute rulers.  If a parent says it, you obey.  If a parent asks, you give it to them.  One of the young adult women asked if she could talk to me about a problem she was having. When I asked her what her parents said when she told them how she felt, she had not said anything to them. "In Fiji, you do not talk with your parents.  You just listen.  They do not care what you think."  Those are her exact words.  Her parents are members of the church.

So I taught the lesson.  We read the 5th commandment.  I asked them what "honor" meant.  They responded with respect and obey.  When we are young honoring does mean obey.  So--I asked them when does the "obey" part ended.  They just looked at me--one would have thought I was speaking Chinese.  So I rephrased it.  Put your hands on top of the tables in a fist.  If you think that to honor your parents you have to obey them until the day they or you die, put your thumb in the air.  100% of the thumbs went up.  I then asked them what they would do if they were married and their parents said that they wanted them (the YSA) and their spouse to move into the parent's home.  Everyone agreed that they would just move.  "What if your spouse did not want to move?" I asked.  The response was that they would talk the spouse into moving.

Thus began the lesson on honoring does not mean obey when one is an adult.  We talked about Heavenly Father's plan for them, about listening to their parents with respect and then doing what Heavenly Father directs them to do, about having courage, about blind obedience and why it is wrong, about "cleaving" after marriage, and about blessings from heaven when one does what is right.  Seemingly all new information to them.

I am learning to never underestimate Satan.  He takes a good thing "honoring ones parents" and twists it just enough to suit his purpose which is the misery of all mankind.